Letters from those who participated
#1 Thanks for the company, the memories, the laughter and the concerns. I want to thank all the speakers who helped me understand the situation better, to elucidate me and allow me to see the history of our people through different angles.
I loved the poetic readings of Dolly, (Delores Sloan) the emotion that came from one of us, of " Steve", the youthful and scholarly approach of Naomi, the soft and wise voice of Edgar, of Charles Stein who reminded us that Marranos, New Christians need to be remembered. Art Benveniste who told us about Brasil among others, the wisdom of Inacio Steinhardt, the patience of Sergio, ( I do think we overwhelmed him), of Rabbi Abrami, who in his enthusiastic and smiling way, always reminded me of the musical, fiddler on the roof. To Judith Cohen who not just spoke so concisely, but with her music, in the most amazing set-up of Lisbon, the Water Works of the city, became one with her music. She melded to all her instruments, her music becoming part of the water, the strong walls. To all other participants, professors who spoke at universities, Mayor's and our own brethren who one way or another contributed. Most of all, to Rufina, the Kind Mother and sister always ready with a hug, the one that kept us encircled in a ray of love, she who made it happen.
It was a journey to remember, in fact and even though I had been to all those places on my own, it was still to me a great experience. To be able to look at all the sites where our ancestors dwelled, walked, laughed? suffered, through so many different eyes, feelings, expressions. It broadened my horizons, it allowed me to grow.
The prayers, chanted by a Rabbi with feelings, in Hebrew the ancient language of our people and God, made it special even though I did not understand it. The Rabbi did intone some in English and Portuguese/Spanish. Do you ever wonder if the spirits of those who died burnt (sometimes by green wood so the suffering with be longer), ever visit and stay with us?
Perhaps in those days, when we prayed in Hebrew in their memory, perhaps they visited. Perhaps their souls were there. With us in harmony under the Portuguese beautiful blue skies. They were there to give us strength. They were there to tell us they are happy to be remembered after all these centuries. They were there to celebrate the idea that their deaths for Judaizing and practicing the religion of their ancestors, were present. Their descendants are coming back, finding out, returning. It was trip that allowed us to come home.
Dear primos, and primas, for that is what we all are, I can't explain to you with exact words, the emotion that goes through the heart when one of us, Ernest Lopes Cardozo, met after centuries, with the soul, the family that after three hundred centuries were floating, apart, and in front of our very own eyes, embraced. That was a moment of tears of joy, of sadness, of glorious victory over evil. It was the song of survival. Right there in front of our eyes. The sweet song of freedom.
Kitty, are you out there? Pretty hot isn't it? Hope we can share the laugh of Castelo de Vide again, so uncontrolled, spontaneous and funny. Ernest, as long as I live, I will never be able to forget the look on your face staring at that piece of Alentejo bread. MVS
# 2 Dear Rufina,
I’m back to normal again, after a whole week of 12 hours of sleep a day. Thank you so much for all your effort to make this trip possible. We enjoyed every minute of it. Everything was good. The Country, the people, the food and our group was very especial.
Our people in Belmonte, I miss them. Castelo de Vide, I got to go back there again. Porto, Tomar, Coimbra, Valenca de Alcantara in Spain etc…
You are a wonderful person. We love you.
Thank you again. N.C
# 3 To all the Primos and Primas who were there and the ones who couldn't. I had a wonderful time and want to express again my thanks to Rufina, Kitty, Mariana and Sergio, and all the participants, who all made this trip worthwhile.
As Rufina already stated, I met -with the assistance of Inacio Steinhardt, several members of my ancient family in Portugal. A distant cousin, 71 years old drove from 40 Kms north of Porto to the Synagogue in Porto to meet me.
Another distant cousin joined us
at Judith Cohen's concert in Lisboa. And many descendants of my ancestors from
Bragança and Mogadouro.I had a wonderful time with them.It was a tiring but
very satisfying tour for me, up to the last day. I will never forget my experience
at ' Castelo de Vide' ( Fernando don't start laughing!!)
I really enjoyed the lecture at the University of Covilha by Prof. Maria Antoinette
Gomes Baptista Garcia, the visit at the old Synagogue in Tomar But my last day
was a catastrophe. I left my trunk with the porter at the Hotel Fénix in Lisboa
and he gave it together with other luggage to a couple's taxi that went away
with it. I'm still trying to recuperate it. As I put my camera in my trunk,
I don't have any photographs, nor underwear etc. anymore.I sit practically naked
at my PC now.
MVS promised already to send me the picture with my cousin in Porto.
This little message for a start.
Ernest Lopes Cardozo, with a Dynasty now. (Belgium)
# 4 From José da Costa Madeira
-Portugal
Primos
I was only with You for some hours and I am already with Saudades!
I feel very anxious to retour to see You, and to talk all was impossible in
so brief a space of time. I hope next Year I can make the complete tour with
You.
Yesterday I was I Viseu, where You went, and passing in Rua Direita (street) in front of the old Synagogue, and finding one of the doors open, I entered and found a man, the owner of a textile store next-door. Asking if we knew what that house was, and if I could enter to see he told me something about it, but very complete. And at final he said, "I only knew this some days ago, when a group of tourists passed here. Even one gave congratulations of have the store here!"
As seen the tour made something change,
as Your friendliness began something with the reestablishment of relations of
the Portuguese people with Jewish presence. You can believe, in many many years
from now, that man will still be remembering that day. And I am sure anxious
of answers, and saudades of You.
Bem Hajam -José
# 5 Rufina, I just wanted you to know how proud I am about our people. I think it's just useless to try to convince the world, the Jewish world, who may not even believe in God but are Jewish because their mothers were Jewish, etc., about the suffering and humiliation of our people.
Having just returned from a marvelous trip of Saudades/Kulanu/Root & Branch to Portugal. It was a wonderful feeling to walk the walk of our ancestors, to pray in their honor with Rabbi Abrami, in the tongue of Israel right in the sites where the Autos da Fe took place, and so many died, burnt, in many cases with green wood for further suffering, because they did not desist from practicing Judaism.
It was no longer the Judaism learned through the rabbinical councils, but a biblical Judaism that only they had access to, yet, for that they perished.
To learn so much about their history, suffering and strength. They were real heroes, our ancestors, the New Christians, Marranos, Conversos, Anusim, whatever everyone wants to call them, they were Sephardi.
From 1492 in Spain and 1496 in Portugal, till this day they prevailed against all evil. What strength my people have. What honor it is to be part of them. MVS
# 6 Dear Saudades/Kulanu/Root & Branch Members
Just to let you all know I survived our Saudades/Kulanu Conference "on -the-move" through Portugal and am safely back home.
It was an amazing experience and one I will share with you as time allows.
We were fortunate to have Rabbi Leo Abrami (and his wife) lead us in prayer and song in all our old houses of prayer and saying kaddish at the three Inquisition centers. As one of our newly returned put it; "we sanctified our old places of worship" neglected over the centuries.
We had (Dr) Rudo Mathivha share her parallel story (thanks to Kulanu sponsorship) and enjoyed (Dr) Judith Cohen's concert and enjoyed the company and knowledge of our dear and long-time-friend Inacio Steinhardt and his gracious and lovely wife,
Gusta A big thank you for this wonderful opportunity --for your KULANU’s generosity --for your vision and outreach.!
I have much to share -so many wonderful and often spiritual experiences, at times very emotional. I'm sorry you were not able to share it with us but Art Benveniste filmed everything and I have asked him to share. We will also pool our pictures to get the best ones to you soonest.
Thank you again -for your sponsorship and especially your vision.
Something special on this trip was the contact I made with many of our Bnei Anusim. This in itself was worth the conference. Knowing that Portuguese-Judaism has not "died out" with my grandmothers generation but that there is a new awareness -a return and it will need more visits and ‘brain-storming’ to try and help the hundreds of Bnei Anusim still in hiding in Portugal today
Wishing you all a sweet, peaceful and meaningful Shabbat (Please light extra candles for our young anusim not yet accepted ) Rufina
http://www.saudades.org Celebrating our Portuguese - Jewish heritage
# 7 A Letter to Michael Freund:
Dear Mr. Michael Freund, yes your
article is very positive and accepting.
I do wonder though if, instead of having Israel and the powers that be, say
the "Convert, " word, if it wouldn't be wise in all its aspects to say instead,
to allow those who wish, and after the process of learning, to come home, to
"return" (not convert), to the faith of their ancestors, who died as a consequence
of their faith!
Perhaps all the centuries of the Inquisition, yes, centuries, conditioning the
minds of so many people, denigrating them and their families, reducing them
to poverty, to scorn, for the rejection of today? It hurts. The more I read
and learn, the more I understand that men have not changed that drastically.
Old notions still cling to the minds
of people. The taboos used long ago between the Sephardi and the Ashkenazi,
are still strong, except it seems now the other way around. I must say that
it is the Ashkenazim that seem more accepting of Anusim.
Yes, we need more voices like yours sounding strong and clear, not just to increase
the population of Israel, (yes the statistics are dismaying), but because the
Jewish people believe that we are the descendants of those who so much suffered,
and yet against all odds, left a small, little trail that today, allows us to
discover these truths.
The right to return, Mr. Michael Freund, not to convert. MVS
# 8 Our Kulanu/Saudades/Root
& Branch Conference-Tour to Portugal
We laughed together, cried together and when needed, we had our prima MVS take charge, charming the most bellicose into becoming angels ready to please. I will always remember your generosity, quick-mind and graciousness in every situation.
One of our group mentioned --- I think it may have been Dolly Sloan ----that what they found exceptional was the genuine feelings of friendship and love among us. A very unique group of intelligent and strong individuals who came together like a true family!
There are many wonderful moments I cherish --one already mentioned about Ernest (Lopes Cardozo) meeting his cousins, the other was my meeting cousins ( which will need confirming) in Belmonte. The opportunity of (Steve Gomes' word) "sanctifying" our old houses of prayer. Having Rabbi Leo Abrami lead us in prayer and song. Meeting our primos and primas who are identifying as Jews in Portugal, after we had believed that secret-Judaism had completely died out two generations ago. The Jewish neshama (soul) is alive and burning bright once again. A miracle in itself.
Meeting our serene prima Emelia Alves was another piece of our many-colored and different textured tapestry. We had far too little time together but the moments shared gave a glimpse of her sincerity and the depth of her as a true prima.
We all enjoyed meeting our primo Fernando from Brazil. He was a ray of sunshine always ready with a smile and mischievous humor. We enjoyed being with our Sephardi primos from LA: Art, Rubi, Susana, Dolly & Flavio. And look forward to the film/s/photos we will soon be sharing . Right now, I think some of you are still enjoying time in Rhodes?.
I felt that the tour given us by our primo Jose Madeira and his gracious mother, Teresa, was a personal and amazing tour of the Jewish Quarter in Porto. It was also when I truly felt I was "waking in the footsteps of our ancestors"
There is no way to express our gratitude to you (Jose Madeira) and your mother. It was one of the highlights of the trip for me. As MV already mentioned, we not only "walked the walk" we learned so much about the people and Jews of Porto. Thank you Jose and a special thank you to your gracious mother.
Having (Dr) Judith Cohen with us throughout was another special treat. Sharing her knowledge along the way which culminated in her concert was worth schlepping across the ocean for. I wish to thank her again for her kindness in joining us. Our primo Steve Gomes turned out to be a wonderful "team-player" Always willing and ready to help out when needed. A very special primo and together with Fernando, Brian, Ernest, Salome, Neide and others had us in stitches many times. We "discovered" the Fado-singing talents of our prima Neide. Thank you Neide for the songs, the olives and the laughs.
It was an opportunity for me to meet up with another dear primo from Mexico (not part of this group) who once flew all the way to Florida (from Mexico) with his wife to meet me and my family. --because he had enjoyed my poetry!!. It was wonderful meeting up with Professor Edgar Ortiz Calisto again
I was thrilled to meet another primo who contributed towards the quality of our saudades/kulanu conference-on-the-move! Charles (aka Carlos) Stein with his wisdom and insight highlighted an issue close to my heart. I'm really pleased to have had this opportunity to meet so many wonderful primas and primos.
KULANU (all of us in Hebrew) also sponsored Dr Rudo Mathivha from the Lemba people (in South Africa) to join us and share their parallel and similar story (of the Lemba) with us. It was an enriching experience for all of us and I know Rudo took back good memories of our time together. I spoke to her today, and she sends a hug to all who were together in Portugal
Being able to honor the memory of Aristides de Sousa Mendes by planting a tree in his name was another special event. Hopefully we will continue to remember him, his wife and the whole family who were so adversely affected by their good-deeds..
What can I say about "Our Kitty" ( aka Katherine or Catarina)? An amazing trooper, never complaining or making a fuss in spite of a bad fall in Belmonte. She is one special lady and I'm honored to have her as a friend.
Thank you to each and everyone of you who were a part of this conference/tour. You made it "happen" It was a special time and I am already planning another, (perfected) but first a visit to my daughter Gila and granddaughter Michaela Bracha in Sydney.
Abraços -your prima -Rufina
# 9 (Ps: I have a short extract from Saul attached to share with all of you.)
Dr Saul Issroff and his partner,
Sally had to leave after only one day with us }
As you may know he is a keen genealogist and very involved with Jewish Gen. Saul would not mind me sharing a short extract from his email to me so here it is:
"Dear Rufina, I was very
sorry to have to
# 10
Dearest Prima Rufina,
I am almost completely restored -- sleeping in my dear little bed or catching catnaps on my sofa has never felt so good. That being said, this was an incredible experience for me. When I tried to recall it in perspective, I felt overwhelmed.
So much was either brand new or new material added to subjects I was familiar with, that I had momentary fears of precious memories and nuances slipping away. Naomi's outline helps me make more sense out of my notes and the memories (and nuances!) are flooding back! So I look forward to adding my "input" to our collective wisdom.
Again, the most precious part of the whole experience was the closeness and caring that I felt from every member of our group. We were a unique and special fellowship of seekers on a divine pilgrimage, as well as accomplished individuals adding a meaningful educational/spiritual experience to our lives. In New Mexico, we often speak of sacred memories: each of us carries these within us; they are revealed to us as we live journeys such as this.
I believe that what comes into our universe reflects what and who we are and what we are ready to receive. This unique group of individuals attracted knowledgeable people, generous in sharing what they know because that is the reflection of what and who we are as individuals and as a whole.
It also speaks volumes about the progenitor of Saudades, Rufina Bernadetti Silva Mausenbaum, who, with her vision and her nurturing of the sacred memories, brought into being this complete international community with the help of KULANU
Dolly (Delores Sloan, Editor of HaLapid)
# 11
Dear Rufina,
This is my first opportunity to express my gratitude to you for having us with your group, while in Portugal. I have enjoyed very much your company and the opportunity to get to know so many interesting people.
I think you are doing an important work and you did it with grace and devotation. G-d bless you.
My sister Lea asked me to thank you
for having her too in the first day and to tell you that she too is very fond
of you. I am glad that most of the pictures that we took were good, so that
we will have a remembrance for the future.
Many kisses
Gusta
Dear Rufina and friends
I just came back from Cyprus and Paris and checking my e-mail I see I have a
full box of nice surprises from you. Thank you very much. The truth is that
I miss you a lot and think about you and the journey we shared together a lot.
Indeed, I have you and Portugal in my blood, so I hope that we will have soon
chance to be together again.
In about a month I will be travelling again, this time to Crete, to attend another academic meeting in finance, and then we will spending a few days im Madrid (my wife Alejandra will fortunately be able to come along this time). There we will visit, of course the Synagogue at Toledo, where my ancestors used to pray. (I visited it twice many, many years ago). I wish you were with me at the time. And I wish Rabbi Abrami were with all of us there to sing and pray together.
After that trip I will settle down for the semester, teaching and doing research in finance and political science. And some day some place, before we get together again, I am sure I will be visitng you some of you, and I hope you will be coming to Mexico to visit me.
Thanks again for your love and frienship.
Adeushalom,
Benjamin Elim
P.S. Almost four years ago I met Rufina by e-mail, and later on I went and to
Miami and met her and her husband Eric and son David, personally One of the
big blessings in my life has been meeting her. Yes I like her poetry very, very
much, but that is not the only reason I went to Miami to meet her. From the
minute I contacted her I benefited from her great personality and Jewish joy
for life and love for G-d. so I just had to go to Miami and meet my dearest
prima Rufina, taking advantage that she was going to be near home.
E-mail: Rufina Bernardetti Silva Mausenbaum